Last night, I had a dream. In this dream I was working as a nurse in a hospital (no idea where) and I was talking with a patient. Suddenly this girl from my past with came up to me and started insulting my care to the patient. She insulted my clothes, my shoes, and in the dream, I walked away feeling defeated.
I woke up realizing that for some stupid reason, some people like her (who I haven't seen in YEARS) are still able to "control" parts of my life with the things they've said and done to me. How much sense does that make? 10 years out of high school and some jerk can still affect how I feel about myself?! It's not that I want to hold onto the emotions I associate with that person(s). I honestly can't help it. I have always had a very specific and good memory. Things that people don't normally remember. I know every teacher I've had since Kindergarten (so what?) but I also remember how their rooms were set up and where I sat throughout the year. I remember the projects we made and the people I sat next to. I remember every ballet dance I've had since I was 6, and all four show choir shows including my alto part. *BUT* I can't remember when Nick asks me to pick up something from the store. Irony at it's best.
So, how do I get past this? How do I accept what was said/done in the past and then move on? I've been able to move past other things with other people, but that's because there's closure. With this person, there is no closure. Just 2 years of coldness followed by ignoring my existence when we have run into each other.
I hate feeling unresolved in something.
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